When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional, loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are those things, the world tells you they are inferior: illogical, weak, vain, empty.
You know why LGBT people have such a bad impression of Christians? It’s not because of protesters with “God hates fags” signs. We know they’re extremists. It’s because of daily being dehumanized by the Christians who lecture and preach at us, treating us as issues instead of as human beings—and because of the Christians we know who stand idly by, thinking that if they’re not actively hating us, that counts as loving us.
Every time I hear “Hate the sin, love the sinner” I want to scream.
My existence is not a sin. I’m not a sinner for existing. You do not “love” me if you feel this way.
Why not ask whether heterosexuality exists? Are there truly people out there who are so disgusted by the same sex that they’ve never had a dream, a thought, a moment of desire for another person of the same sex? If so, why do these people have such a revulsion? Is it cultural? Is it biological? Both? We take heterosexuality for granted, but we still don’t know if it truly exists. All primates (with the exception of humans) are bisexual. Bonobos and chimpanzees especially. In human societies that are not corrupted by homophobia or biphobia (see Greeks, Canaanites, and various modern tribes), the people are bisexual. I think heterosexuality should be assumed to be a cultural invention until proven otherwise.
There are no Jack Kerouacs or Holden Caulfields for girls. Literary girls don’t take road-trips to find themselves; they take trips to find men.
"Great" books, as defined by the Western canon, didn’t contain female protagonists I could admire. In fact, they barely contained female protagonists at all.
Marilyn Monroe photographed by Harold Lloyd, 1953
A few of my favorite activities.
i like how they put capitalism in fun letters
i rly need this framed on my wall
Why are people giving away our secrets?
I would agree with the right-wing conservative: it is unimaginable that any woman in today’s society would not want to date men. For patriarchy demands that women be sexually available to men. For homosexuality is not seen in our romance novels or movies. For words like “dyke” and “lesbian” have become dirty words that schoolchildren spit to insult and degrade their peers and disliked female teachers. How, then, could it be that despite being conditioned by heteronormative society, despite lacking any knowledge of homosexuality outside of childhood cruelty and extreme politics, lesbians exist and are speaking up?I would like to think that it is because men are just simply not as exciting as they like to think they are, but lesbianism has only surfaced in popular culture in most recent years. Yet surely lesbianism existed prior to the 21st century. Now and again an article about the Boston Marriages of the nineteenth century will surface and go viral to remind us of its long-term existence. But there were very few recognized women, much less lesbians in history. So when one remembers their great great aunt or grandmother, or historical female inventors and scientists, writers and actresses, of any remarkable woman in history, or even the unremarkable ones who came and left life without a stir, I think of how they could have potentially had feelings for women, they could be a silenced Anne Frank, a suppressed Frida Kahlo, an unnoticed Jane Addams, but instead were forced to assimilate into homophobic, sexist culture and ended up marrying some dull yuppie who failed to love her the way she was born to be loved. Indeed, I would venture to guess that many of the women we look up to today were and are sometimes lesbians.
This may be true or false – who can say? – but what is true in it, so it seems to me, is that lesbophobia and misogyny are dual in nature; it is not just the fear of homosexuality, but the fear of women who do not love men. For it takes little social experience notice how no one ever questions the sexuality of a gay man; a man could have a slightly limp hand and everyone is ready to jump on the idea that he is gay. But lesbianism is met with suspicion, disbelief and assumptions, because it is unthinkable under heteropatriarchy to not worship male assets.No lesbian can be open without making herself a target for questions about possible past traumatic experiences, or promises of being “fixed” by a man, or is instead – somewhat irrationally – fetishized for the male gaze so that even love between two women is exploited for male gain. Heteropatriarchy has, as it always has, a tendency to either oppress or exploit everything that is not about white men, therefore encouraging young girls to either avoid lesbianism like the plague or utilize it by kissing their friends for their boyfriends, so that to be a true, open, bold lesbian takes the courage of the rarest.
But undoubtedly, I think, a lesbian of the past would have to marry a man as women had no control over their lives. To deny men sex and romance is the ultimate resistance, but the true nature of a lesbian is the unfaltering, unconditional love and appreciation for women. The root of lesbophobia is that lesbianism is mistaken as the hatred of men, when it is in fact the love of women.
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